Geeky Mom

Today is the last day of spring break. Tomorrow we all head back to work and school and begin the sprint until summer vacation.  We really only have about 6 weeks left.  Exams begin before memorial day and yes, there will be frantic grading, but the daily instruction ends just before memorial day.

We travelled over break, which was a good thing, though tiring.  We visited family in various parts of the country, driving 12 hours straight to get back home on Friday, a day earlier than planned.

I spent the last couple of days cleaning a bit and thinking a bit.  Now is about the time that those New Year’s resolutions start to fade.  I had resolved to keep up with our finances better.  I did well in January and February, and then March came and it all went to hell.  It wasn’t as bad as I thought, but I had wanted to keep tabs on spending so we could control it better. My goal is to save enough money for our vacation, so we don’t resort to credit spending, which is often what happens.  I’m trying to pay off the credit debt as well, but extra medical expenses from this year’s mental health crisis have used up any extra I might have had to do that.  We’re still paying those expenses off, as well as incurring new ones.

I’m also slightly disgusted with my body right now.  I started doing yoga again, but the 10-15 lbs I’ve put on over the years that have bumped me up a couple of sizes and made me not want to wear a bathing suit are starting to really bother me.  I read two friends’ blog posts this morning about similar frustrations (and successes!) so that inspired me to think about returning to healthier habits.  One friend said she gave up processed foods and just moved more and lost a ton of weight.  I’m sure I could lose a few pounds that way, but I don’t know about 10.  If I needed to lose 50, I think that strategy alone would work.  But I do tend to sit more than I should, and I have been eating terribly lately.  So I thought it might be easy to start with the eat less, move more strategy for a couple of weeks and see where that gets me.  I’m vowing not to sit until much later in the day.  I have a tendency to come home and flop on the couch.  Instead, I’m going to tackle some projects around the house–cleaning out things, gardening, etc.  Or I’ll walk the dog.  I’m also going to eat better.  I’ve been through far too many tubs of french onion dip this year (and the bags of chips to go with them).  So I’m going to shift to fruits and vegetables and I’m going to focus on eating only when I’m hungry.  Like many people, I eat when I’m bored, or as a side activity to watching tv or something else.  If I’m not getting anywhere still, I’ll add more activity, but for now, this is a start.

I always find it slightly disappointing when I don’t stick with something I thought I really wanted to do, but I also know there have been things in my life that I’ve slacked off on and that I’ve kept starting over again that I eventually got right.  And, I never strive for perfection.  If I did that, nothing would ever get done.

So maybe I have to renew my commitments every couple of months.  Whatever works, I say.

I just finished Drop Dead Healthy, thanks to the kind recommendations of my readers. It was a good read, both informative and funny, and not too preachy. Clearly, Jacobs has a penchant for self improvement as I will admit to suffering from since I was a kid. I once walked with a book on my head. I’ve tried diets and exercise plans. I’ve tried to develop hobbies that I thought might be “good for me”.

Why do we do these things? It’s a question the book asks but doesn’t answer fully. Certainly, there’s vanity. I know that’s been a factor for me as I’ve aged. There’s also the desire to extend our lives, to spend as much time here on earth as possible. That’s certainly a factor for Jacobs. He also mentions his feeling of righteousness, something I know can be motivating. You sat around and watched TV? Well, I went for a 5 mile run!. It’s not pretty, but you know it’s true. Most importantly, I think we all want to feel better, to feel the best we possibly can. Feeling good is subjective, of course, and some of those other factors feed into feeling good. Some of us feel good when we physically look better (by losing weight, by having good skin, etc.). But ultimately, that feeling becomes more internal than external.

And so, I think it’s about finding the balance. I feel good when I do some physical activity every day. But running wasn’t quite the thing for me–too hard on my back. I don’t mind, and even prefer, eating mostly vegetarian. But I don’t want to drink my meals or never have a piece of chocolate (which has benefits in small doses anyway). But there are definitely habits I’d like to change. Inertia is a strong force, though. But it can be overcome.