At least for today. I put in 11 hours today. I barely have brain cells left. I think, but I’m not sure, that I made it to the bathroom at some point. I sat down for the first time at 3:00 p.m. Thankfully, these days are few and far between.
At some point in my adult life, I began to work harder than I know I did as a teenager or even a college student. Some of this was by necessity. A 9-5 job is a very different commitment than 4 or 5 classes in college. Even though I have worked at “real jobs” since I was 14, I approach work differently than I did then. Those jobs were just jobs. Now I feel a level of investment in my work that makes me put a lot more effort into it. At all of my jobs for the last 15 years or so, I have really cared about doing a good job, not so much because I wanted to get promoted or whatever, but because, as an educator, I knew people depended on me. I’ve sought ways of improving what I do: by going to conferences, by talking to experienced colleagues, or by reading books. I’m also often asking myself what more I could be doing to make wherever I work a better place. I put a lot into my work. As a result, I usually get a lot out of it, too. I feel good about what I’m doing.
However, that kind of cycle of constantly looking for things to do better or more of has the potential to burn me out. And so, I don’t take work home (much). When I come home, I may read a blog or article on education, but I don’t grade or prepare for class or check email. I leave work at work. For my own sanity, this is how it needs to be. And yet, I sometimes feel guilty. I know colleagues who take their work home. I feel guilty that I don’t. But as another colleague was telling me, we need to step away from work. It makes us better able to cope the next day if we’ve spent some time relaxing, being with our families and not thinking about work. And so, I try to put the guilt away, rest, reconnect so that I have the physical and emotional energy I need to do my best at work.
I am 48 hours away from getting to really, truly go on vacation, but first, the world has to fall apart through a million little incidents.
- I pulled my tricep putting on my bathing suit. There is nothing more humiliating than that.
- The dog jumped up while I was bent over and the top of her head hit the bottom of my nose. Yes, I think it’s broken.
- I had to be in to work 1/2 hour earlier than expected, just after said nose incident.
- An hour into a training session, I was asked to move my car, which was parked in a “No Parking” zone which isn’t normally a no parking zone, but is, in fact, faculty parking. The camp counselor seemed very put out.
- While the training session eventually became very informative, I almost had to sit through an explanation of bread crumbs. I wanted to shout, “Hello? I’ve created web sites with bread crumbs!” Instead, I politely said that I understood the concept and could we move on.
- Later, when asked whether we wanted to take a break, someone asked how much more there was to cover and could we be done with this part (the only part pertinent to me) by lunch. Oh no.
- I insisted I needed to get home and manage my kids. The session was sped up.
- When I got home, the air conditioning did not seem to be working. It’s supposed to be 95 today, 98 tomorrow and 101 the next day.
Can I just say that I’m ready for a beach and a pina colada?
Mr. Geeky is away and when he returns, we’ll be heading on our first (and only) family vacation of the summer. The kids and I have kept ourselves pretty busy. The kids sleep in more than I do, of course. When they get up–anywhere from 10-1–I have them do a few chores, and then we head to the pool. We’ve been lucky that it’s been exceedingly hot, so taking a dip in the pool’s water feels great. There have been summers, believe it or not, where I felt it wasn’t quite hot enough to warrant getting into cold water. That’s growing up in the south for you.
At night the kids have helped with dinner and we’ve watched tv together or played a game. We played Boggle the other night and I beat Geeky Boy by only one point.
The kids have done laundry and folded clothes while I went into work for a a couple of hours. Geeky Girl is re-reading all the Harry Potter books. Geeky Boy is reading Mental Floss and starting on The Crucible. Next week will be all about sun and surf and good seafood. This week, we’re just biding our time.
I was going to do a write-up of the conference, which I’ll do eventually, but one thing that occurred to me as I wandered the streets of New York was that life for me, despite looming deficit ceilings and other political woes, is good. I’m lucky enough that I have a job that paid me to attend the conference. I could afford the phone that led me to cool restaurants and guided me to Ellis Island. It wasn’t my first trip to New York, thanks to first, my father, and then to Mr. Geeky (for moving us close by), so I wasn’t overwhelmed and felt free to find my way and explore places nearby. I’ve navigated public transit systems in many major cities–New York, Boston, Philadelphia, D.C., Paris, London, San Francisco–because I could afford to travel to those locations. I now default to using these systems when I travel, when I can. I wish there were more of them.
I have a job where the limits of my knowledge are stretched, but where I work with some really great people (that I’m looking forward to seeing again soon!), and I have wonderful students.
I like the town I live in, even though I do sometimes dream of moving either to the country or the city when the kids are gone or I retire. The last two days I’ve walked to the local ice cream shop with Geeky Girl. I couldn’t even do that in the small town where I grew up.
My kids, in general, are pretty cool. I’ve been driving Geeky Boy to a class 45 minutes away and on the way, we talk about all kinds of things. Today’s conversation was about 80s music and whether the likes of U2 or Bon Jovi will be played on radios 20 years from now. We didn’t get to whether radios would exist, but that’s a possibility. Geeky Girl is re-reading all the Harry Potter books, sitting quietly in the new den/family room.
Life is certainly not perfect. I worry about things all the time. But right now, life is pretty good.
Since I’ve been out of the “real” education fold for a couple of years, I forgot how crazy the end of the year gets. I mentioned in this post some of the events going on, but there’s also a lot of wrapping up to do, a lot of thinking about what needs to get done now, what can get put off, etc. I don’t have the grading burden that most teachers here have. I give no exams, my middle school classes aren’t graded (though I do write up extensive comments for those), and I have only one student in my upper school class, and we’re collaborating on a project together, so you can guess what kind of grade she’s getting. Her part of the project . . . so much better than mine. I’d give myself an A for trying, can’t help it I’m not an artist.
I had two funny dreams the other night that demonstrate my stress level. First, I dreamed that I showed up late for an art show that I had a hand in helping with. My collaborator on a digital storytelling project was really upset I didn’t show up on time. She cried. I cried, saying how unlike me this behavior was (which is true). Second, I dreamed I had to teach calculus. I cried. Really, I felt breathless, explaining to whomever (couldn’t see him or her) that I hadn’t had calculus since my sophomore year in college, more than 20 years ago.
I got through my final classes as of this morning. All that’s left is to comment on their work and post those comments to the grading system. I’ll likely take care of that next week. I’m also coordinating our in-service day for the fall, and I’m trying to get as much done on that as I can before school is out. I’ve lined up one outside speaker, and I’m working on a second, plus I’ve got several faculty volunteers lined up. I’m hoping for many more. I also started prepping for my new course for next year. I have the summer to do it, but I wanted to get a bit of a head start. Without classes next week, I think more time will open up. Students and faculty don’t really need me right now since any tech projects were completed last week. So, it’s just a matter of getting through the many little tasks that need to get done.
I know many of you out there are going (or just went) through the same thing. I wish you all luck. See you on the other side.
We have about 6 weeks of actual classes left, followed by a couple of weeks of exams. I do not give exams, so that means I’m pretty much done when classes are done. I still have to fill out report cards, but that’s made easier by not having to grade finals. I wish it were different, actually. My middle school classes meet once a week and are not graded. My students receive comments, but only a pass/fail grade. And of course, it’s silly to fail anyone. I’m hoping to change that for next year and at least add grades. And perhaps somewhere down the road, I can get more time with the students–twice a week? three times a week? I dream of how much I could do with them if I had more time.
And for upper school, I’m hoping for enough interest to have more classes. Next year, I’m looking at having at least 9 and possibly 11 students for my intro to computing class. For a new class that’s an elective, that’s pretty exciting. I’m also doing an independent student on web design and hope to turn that into a senior elective after next year. I also have to think about follow-up classes to intro–advanced programming? game programming? something else?
I told someone at lunch yesterday that I was ready for a restart. I’m looking forward to building on what I’ve learned this year, creating all new things, building on what I’ve already created. It’s one of the things that great about education. Opportunity to change, to learn, to do things differently next time. Hopefully, the students see that too.
Sorry to have disappeared. I was sick throughout my spring break. I wanted to take baths and stay in bed all day, but with our house remodel going on, that wasn’t possible. So I stumbled out of bed most days and went to a coffee shop, ran some errands with Mr. Geeky and generally tried to survive. Then Mr. Geeky’s uncle died and we drove to the funeral. Sadly, I’m increasingly at an age where funerals are how you see family. It used to be weddings. I was sick throughout the entire time we were there–about 3 days–though I began to rally towards the end. Going through the mountains on the way back, my sinuses felt like they would explode–worst feeling ever. Still frustrated by being sick, I actually left early my first day back to work to go to the doctor. I love my doctor. After taking a look at my sinuses, she said, “Can you breathe through your nose?” ”Yes,” I said. ”I find that hard to believe. No wonder you don’t feel good.” I am now on the mend thanks to her. Maybe I would have mended anyway, but I felt well taken care of.
Next week, I head to Florida with my high school students to participate in a robotics competition. We are all very excited and I do hope we win. The girls have worked hard to make this happen. We also have some down time, which we are going to spend at Harry Potter World. As a pretty big fan of both the books and the movies, I’m looking forward to that. I have no idea what I’m getting myself into with this competition, but I think it will be quite an experience. I’m likely to be doing this again next year, so this will be a good learning experience.
I have a post in the wings about personal data and how much it is collected these days. I’ve had more than my fair share of encounters with the extraction of my data. And I’ve been thinking a lot about it.
That is, I’ve turned 43. I’m now truly into my 40s. I started a new job near the end of my 42nd year. This time last year, I’d sent off some resumes for teaching positions. But the job I currently have had not been posted yet. It would be another month before that would happen.
For 43, I feel pretty damn good. I feel lucky to have been able to shift careers and to so far, be somewhat successful. I have much to learn, but that’s keeping me young.
I keep having these nagging dreams about my weight, which isn’t bad, but I think I’m subconsciously worried about it. I dreamt that I stepped on a scale and it zoomed up to well over 200. And then I dreamt that I took off my clothes and my body just expanded, like one of those expanding animals you add water to. I took my exercise clothes to work a week ago. A colleague and I have been planning to work out together, but neither of us have managed it yet. Friday is about the only day we don’t end up in an after-school meeting and we don’t feel like working out on Fridays. Sigh.
I was listening to the radio the other day and there was a local story about motivation to lost weight. The main thrust of the argument was that if you’re doing it for vanity, it’s less likely to work. Sadly, that’s where I am right now. Intellectually, I can discuss the health benefits, but emotionally, I’m in it to look good in my clothes.
I’d make it a goal for the next year to lose x number of pounds, but I think I’m too focused on other things. One day I’ll post here about going to the gym every day, but until then, I’ll settle for the way I look at 43. It’s not so bad.
Has gotten crazy/lazy. You know how I was all flylady back in September? Well, not so much anymore. I’m looking at crazy piles on the desk. There’s a load of laundry that needs to be folded. Grocery shopping is happening sporadically at best. No one’s dead yet, so at least that’s good. Here’s what happens when I get home. Some days, I’m home by 4:00. Most days it’s closer to 5. If I’m home by 4:00, which is rare, I might throw in a load of clothes or straighten a room up. Today was my first day home by 4 in a long time, and I plopped myself in front of the computer to read blogs. Sigh. When it’s close to 5, I putter around, often in front of the computer (theme here?), but only for a short while because I have to cook dinner. Then we eat, often in front of the tv, and then when I feel it’s reasonably late, I put on my pj’s and get in bed and watch tv. Some days I have work to do, and that usually happens after dinner in my pj’s in bed. This pattern has evolved primarily once cold weather hit. The whole family is drained of energy from lack of sunlight, and the disrupted days with snow haven’t helped. On top of that, we’re remodeling, so a bathroom is mostly out of commission and the bedroom is in temporary disarray. I think spring break is mostly going to be about reclaiming the house. And my life inside the house.
What I feel like I should be doing instead of watching tv, goofing off on the computer? Reading. Programming for practice. Probably working more. Exercising. Housework. I’m having a hard time overcoming the exhaustion to make any of that happen. Sometimes it’s physical exhaustion, sometimes it’s mental.
I will say that it helps writing blog posts once in a while. So maybe I’ll slowly come around to doing all those other things too. Writing this morning’s post actually led me to put a plan into action today, to rave reviews.
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