And I must chime in with the reverse. We lost touch with so many friends, simply because we had a baby and they did not. Parenting cut right through our social networks.

I love talking about my kids. They occupy a large area of my brainspace (they’re still pretty young, but it is now, not when they were babies that I find the most brain space occupied; I don’t know how much space they’ll occupy when they’re older). I also find other people’s kids hugely interesting. One of the things I’ve liked about motherhood is the ways in which it brings me understanding/communality with people who don’t share *all* my interests. Instead of everyone I know having a doctorate in the same field as me, and largely similar educational background, I get a broader array of people, artists, and landscape designer, and others. Interesting people.

So, I’d guess, the broader lesson is that you friends should have common interests. But, if you define your interests too narrowly, you won’t have any friends, ’cause no one will have the same interests as you (or they will be very few). As interests broaden/change, if you want to maintain friendships over longer periods of time, you have to be interested in the other persons interest, enough to respect them (and that applies to everyone in the relationship).

(Oh, and no one wants to talk about *your* kids, *your* divorce, *your* job, *your* navel all the time. So if you’re only interested in yourself, well, . . . .)

Sometimes I long for friends that have circumstances closer to my own (it’s hell trying to find someone to go on vacation with when all your friends have a family!), but these Moms that I’m friends with give back in their own way. For me – a family to spend holidays with or even just someone to include me for meals or outings. I can get my kid fix without having to deal with any of my own. Seems a good trade-off!