I think the New York Times stole my idea.  On Motherlode, there are two posts that are an interesting contrast.  In one post, the writer abandons a friendship with a childless friend and seeks out the moms with whom she feels more comfortable and can relate to.  In the other, the writer realizes that just because you both have kids doesn’t mean you should be friends.  I fall into the latter category.  When Mr. Geeky took his first job, the wife of one of his colleagues invited me to join a “mommy” group.  I enjoyed the group, but only established a friendship with one or two of the 30 or so women who were members.  I, too, got tired of talking about what my kids were doing developmentally all the time.  I wanted to talk about my work, my passions, my interests.  And the women I got along with best in that group were the ones who’s children were oldest.  One woman told me at some point that even though I didn’t look it, I seemed much older and wiser than I was.  I took it as a complement.  My closest local friends include both parents and non-parents. I also have quite a few male friends, and interestingly, when I look back at high school and college, I was closer to more men than women as just friends. Among my parent friends, though we do often discuss our children, we spend plenty of time talking politics and current events and about other interests.  That’s what maintains a friendship, not having kids the same age.

Related posts:

1. Mommy blogging
2. Why we get defensive
3. The Rise of Online Social Networks
4. Off to canvass
5. What Michelle Obama represents