(because real work is too hard)
I was dressed all in cotton, from my head to my feet,
And my clothes were all tarnished with flour and sweets.
A bundle of gifts I hauled from the trunk,
And I looked like the homeless hoarding my junk.
My eyes, how they drooped! My dimples how sallow,
My cheeks lost all their color, my whole face kind of yellow.
My sad little mouth was drawn up in a bow,
And it really looked as if I might just blow.
The stem of a glass I held tight in my fist,
And the liquid soothed all just as I wished,
Sinking down through my throat and into my belly,
Which made me feel like I was made out of jelly.
The cheer soon returned, my right jolly old self,
And I laughed as I downed yet another mad elf.
In a blink of my eye and a twist of my head,
I soon came to know I had nothing to dread.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And wrapped all the presents, then turned with a jerk.
Then laying a finger aside of the key,
And clicking the mouse, off the gifts went with glee.
I closed down my browser, and let out a long whistle,
And breathed in fresh air so that I would not fizzle.
But I say to you all, before I fade out of view,
Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year too!