Technically I’m in the town I grew up in but I’m not in the same house or even in the same area where most of my childhood took place. Home has not been home for me since college when my parents got divorced and the world reordered itself. Most of my friends moved away and their parents too so it’s unlikely I’ll run into anyone I know. That used to be a regular occurance. The lack of these familiar things don’t bother me. In fact, I think if everything were the same I’d find that more disconcerting–like despite all that’s happened since I left hadn’t made a difference, that no matter how hard we try we’re pulled back by some force into our old lives.
I’m thinking about this not just because I’m here but also because the new year is approaching. So much has changed and it’s at once refreshing and disorienting. As I look around my town with the new right next to the old and familiar, I think about what is good to keep in my life and what should be torn down like a condemed building. I don’t want to become the abandoned eyesore but the strucure that’s been maintained by keeping the good parts and replacing those that have outworn their purpose.