ExPromQueen had asked about my GTD methods. I’ve been using the GTD Tiddly Wiki to keep track of my projects. It’s client side, not server side, so it’s physically located on my laptop. But I almost always have my laptop with me. There’s a GTD Tiddly Wiki Plus that’s easily transferred to USB, so that you can carry your wiki with you. A picture of what my wiki looks like is to the right there. I also keep a moleskein notebook with me and jot down ideas and things when I’m away from the computer. For me, there are two keys to the whole system. The first is to put in your wiki the next task for each project, not the next five tasks or ten, but just the very next one. You can keep a folder with a more extensive list of what needs to be done for any given project, but the wiki needs to have just next tasks. The second key (maybe the first as it’s so important) is the review process. Once a week, you should review all your projects and your lists and make sure you’re getting everything you need to get done done. This is also a time to put down new projects, to brainstorm for new projects and generally assess where you are. This is the part I fall down on the most, but I’m going to try to make it more of a habit. Some other things I do is keeping track of the Ph.D. stuff in my Blogical Construction blog. I also have lots of folders. I haven’t yet fully implemented the 43 folder system. Instead, I’ve been looking for a good online calendar. Two I like so far: Airset and Google Calendar. One thing I like about Airset is that it syncs with my Palm. Since my work calendar is on my Palm, it’s really useful to be able to sync that with an online calendar. I did this on a windows machine, but it might also work on a mac, haven’t tried it yet.

Anyway, I’m constantly tweaking what I do. I highly recommend the 43 Folders blog and wiki for lots of ideas about keeping organized. The great thing about this whole system is that everyone can use it as they see fit.

I got about 2 hours’ worth of work done this morning and am about to head out to the coffee shop to do some more. I’m waiting for my computer battery to charge to at least 85%, which will give me about an hour and a half of time. I am really, really close to a draft and I think one more push this afternoon and I’ll have something I can definitely call a good rough draft. I read through what I had so far, making some notes of places to fill in and add footnotes to. I’m not unhappy with what I have so far, though I’m keenly aware of a certain selectivity in my sources. As I’ve read more and more, I realize that you can’t include everything and no one really does include everything. I’ve read plenty of things where I’m thinking, “Why didn’t they include this source?” They may not be aware of it or they may not want to include it for whatever reason. The thing about writing that I try to keep in mind is that it’s never definitive; it really is a conversation. The hope is that someone would read my work and build on as I’m doing with other people’s work. So if I leave something out, maybe someone will write something based on my work plus the thing I’ve left out. It would be looking at my work in a new way.

One thing I will say for this chapter in particular is that it’s not the best thing since sliced bread. But it’s solid and I can live with that.

Today, I plan to finish the chapter from hell. Mr. Geeky is taking the kids to the zoo. I’m taking a few minutes to check in with some blogs and get a cup of coffee into my system and then I’m going to dive in. Yesterday, I reimplemented my GTD system at work and got a lot of little things done that were weighing on my brain and making me feel kind of frantic. Just knowing that everything I need to do is written down in a safe place makes me feel better.

So with my brain cleared of that stuff, I hope I can finally say something intelligent for the last section of this chapter.

I write a lot about work-family balance, but I think what I really mean when I think about balance is something perhaps more personal and more involved than simply balancing work and family. For one thing, saying work and family implies that those are the only two things that matter and that’s simply not true. And my life right now exemplifies that and is in many ways unbalanced. It has to be for the moment. Let me explain.

Balance for me means that I’m working 9-5, busy enough to be satisfied with my work and getting everything I need to get done during those hours and not coming home feeling stressed about the things that didn’t get done. At home, I have time to get some work done around the house and spend some leisure time with the family. And, there’s time for me. There’s time to work on personal projects or do something just for me: take a bath, play a video game, read a book. Here’s a picture of what that might look like:

Nice balanced teeter totter and yes, I can’t draw. When things are out of balance, one aspect of life takes over the other and my focus shifts. In my case, both my work and my dissertation have taken over my life. When I’m not working, I’m dissertating and at work right now, things are a little too busy (should be more balanced next week), so that I can’t completely dismiss it when I get home. When life is unbalanced in this way, I tend to not think about other stuff. I can’t deal with housework, for example, and I have to give up leisure both with the family and for myself, but at the same time, I’m focused primarily on myself, so that if there is time, I tend to pamper myself. The idea, for me, is that I need to rejuice myself for the work ahead. Here’s a picture of what I think this looks like.

Probably for Mr. Geeky, it feels more like he’s on the low end, but I like the image of three people still not able to make the see saw go down. I’m sucking all the energy for myself. When Mr. Geeky was in this mode, with a full-time tenure track job and finishing his dissertation, I was a stay-at-home mom, so although things were unbalanced and I wasn’t particularly happy about that, the world didn’t fall apart. I knew the situation was temporary. But things were unbalanced then in other ways. Because I was doing all the housework and childcare, I didn’t have as much time for myself and we certainly didn’t get enough leisure time together as a family.

I’m wondering if there’s ever balance. Around here it seems, the see saw is always going up and down. And yet, I need for it to stay tilted in my direction in order to finish my dissertation. That creates tension at times as different family members feel they need more of the family support for themselves. Or just need some socks.

I kind of hate the feeling of being in my own bubble. You can tell just by the blog that that’s happened (less connections to other people or writing about current events), but I’m afraid that unbalance will have to stay in place with small breaks along the way in order to get this work done.

Or lack of it. I am giving an online presentation today. I’m not nervous about it. I’ve been giving a lot of presentations lately and I have two more, one each in the next two weeks. I’ve gotten fairly good at putting these things together. But it’s been a long road getting to this point.

My first presentation ever was three and a half years ago. It was my job talk. For that, I was extremely nervous. After all, a job was on the line, a job I really, really wanted. I practiced with Mr. Geeky, who told me quite honestly I kind of sucked. I cried. He told me how I might rethink it. I redid it and eventually, it was good enough to land the job.

In the humanities, we read our papers generally. The first presentation I gave at a conference was loosely based on my job talk. It was at the 4Cs in New York (2002?). All the conferences I’d been to before, the usual method of presenting information is to read a script, something like a paper, but more conversational in tone. Thus, when I got to my job talk, I hadn’t presented information without a script since my speech class in high school.

Mr. Geeky was telling me that his students were struggling to present their final projects. Most of them have never done this before. He was surprised when those who have very visual projects did not have a single image to show the group. This is a skill we almost never teach and yet, it’s a skill that’s often required in multiple settings, whether it’s an academic job talk, presenting material to a board or to one’s colleagues. In many disciplines, we are still focused on text as the primary way to convey information. In particular, we are still focused on the academic essay as the primary way to convey information. We ignore all the other types of texts we might write and all the other ways we might convey information. And yet, all around us, we absorb information in multiple ways. Television news gives us still and moving images and sound. Even newspapers provide a number of images. Most of us consume a varity of media. And yet, we rarely ask our students to produce that variety. Doing so, I think, would provide them an opportunity to really think about the messages they receive via the multimedia they consume every day.

I am not discounting the importance of text, but I plan to, next semester, ask my students to do at least one multimedia presentation and to think about the difference between that type of presentation and text. Partly, this comes out of my own experience of feeling at sea in putting together my first presentation, but I also really believe that students shouldn’t just learn to create and critique text in school.

It’s true. I worked this morning and I worked this evening and the chapter still isn’t nearly done. I’m only aiming for 15-20 pages as the chapter is kind of a set-up for the next one, but oh well. I’ll get there. It’s just going slower than I want it to.

What sucks about my life right now and my blog as it represents my life is that I have so many good things I wanted to write about, to tell you people about, but either a) I don’t have time or b) I can’t reveal because most of you know who I am and where I work. Damnation, why couldn’t I maintain some kind of anonymity. I’m terribly sorry that I’ve devolved into writing about how I don’t like to get up in the morning and how hard it is to write. I do realize there’s stuff going on the world. I saw Caitlin Flanagan. I did. And it was as horrifying as you all said it would be.

I have been thinking a lot about my “foot in both camps position” and might have even more to say yet again later. Also I’m on a search committee and it’s been quite fascinating. Not so much from the perspective of the candidates but in being like a fly on the wall and observing our faculty and staff. If only I’d known when I applied. . . Maybe at a later date, I can say more. But can I ask, what do you all think of job talks for staff positions? Just an informal poll.

On a more serious note, I’ve actually been thinking about the fact that today is Holocaust Remembrance Day. I have been blessed with many friends who are Jewish, most recently a group of writers who wrote frequently about the Holocaust. One even ghost wrote one local woman’s memoir and turned that into a screenplay. It was amazingly moving. I have always been amazed at the straightforwardness with which many of the people I’ve met have discussed the Holocaust. It has always been as if to say, “Remember, so we do not forget.” There is no vengeance, only survival and a quiet and despairing recognition of the ability of humankind to visit such horror and cruelty on its own.

Yesterday, I discussed my struggle to write first thing in the morning. My kids have inherited my (and Mr. Geeky’s) struggle to get moving in the morning. I mean, I don’t mind getting up, but I want a couple of hours before my brain has to really kick into gear. That’s one of the reasons I get up earlier than necessary. I can drink coffee, eat breakfast, and generally warm up to the day. Doing the writing thing isn’t exactly the same thing, but I’m still working on it.

The kids have to be prodded a couple of times before they rouse themselves. Like me, they relish every extra minute in bed, snuggling under the warmth of the covers before having to emerge into the harsh realities of the world. If I had my druthers, school wouldn’t start until at least 9:30. Next year is going to be painful since Geeky Boy begins middle school and has to be there at some ungodly hour.

Making matters worse at the moment is my utter lack of attention to such basic housekeeping chores as laundry and grocery shopping. Thus, a few minutes ago, I was regaled with, “I don’t have any socks” and “I need pants.” I responded with “Dig through that basket there” and “Just wear shorts; it’s going to be 70 eventually.” Health and Human Services is on their way, I’m sure.

Someboday would call this laziness, I suppose. I just choose to direct my energies elsewhere. I guarantee someone who rises at 5:00 a.m. is not going to be awake at midnight reading something. Why is it that our society sees early rising as a virtue and staying up late as a sign of sloth? Is this Ben Franklin’s fault? Can I help it if he didn’t know the wonders of good lighting at night?

New Kid had a really funny and thought-provoking post about writing and exercising first thing in the morning. I find it especially amusing given that I, too, hit the snooze this morning and got up at 7:00 instead of 6:00. Thus, I’m catching up on blog reading instead of writing. I did manage to write first thing over the weekend. My main problem this morning was not getting to bed early enough. I’m debating now about whether I should try to get in an hour or so after work. That’s one thing that writing first does for you. You don’t have to think about it anymore. And if you do think of something you want to write, it’s just gravy.

The exercise thing, well, I, too, am not much of an exercise or sports person. We did all get tennis rackets for ourselves and as soon as the weather cooperates, we’re planning to hit the courts a block from our house. But exercise is never going to happen in the mornings.

The thing is, I’m not really a morning person. Though I naturally get up between 7:30 and 8, during the week, I have to get up at 6:00 in order to get some writing in before I have to start getting kids up and ready for school and myself ready for work. I think people who make dictums like “Write First” don’t have any other obligations first thing in the morning. Or they’re the kind of crazy people who don’t think 6 is that early. My mother is like that.

Though I missed the mark this morning, I’m going to do the write first for the rest of the week. I definitely like it, but it’s not that easy to do. And if I wanted to exercise first thing too, I think I’d have to get up at 5. No way is that happening. I wonder if the people who say these things do so because writing or exercise is the most important thing in their lives. Does Emeril say “Cook First”?

Or at least the potential of sex. Last night, as I was tucking in Geeky Girl, she asked me if I knew what a period was. I said I did and explained that I had one everyone month and that I bled. She asked what she should do if she gets her period in school. A very practical question. I explained about carrying tampons in a purse or in a backpack. And then she said, but you’re in the bathroom when it happens, right? Turns out she thought getting your period was like peeing. I explained how you can’t control it the way you can control pee. Then I told her how I got my first period.

I was on a day trip to the lake with the girl scouts. We were in bathing suits and there wasn’t a bathroom anywhere (port-a-potties only). We were all lazing around on the deck when someone pointed out I had blood on my bathing suit. Luckily, there was someone there with the required materials, but it was a harrowing few minutes.

Geeky Girl wanted to know if she could practice using tampons. I laughed and told her when she got older, she might want to, but that she could also use pads. She asked what tampons were like, so I described them and told her she could look at one of mine sometime.

I’m sure I’m not capturing everything. What struck me about the whole conversation was that she wanted such practical advice: what tampons looked like, how to use them, what to do in school. I never got such practical advice. I had misinformation and myths. No strategies for coping with the many days of accidents and embarrassments. I hope Geeky Girl (and Geeky Boy, who was listening from the other room) will continue to come to me for advice.

I had a post written, then went to save it and *poof* it was gone. Oh well. Here’s some random stuff.

• Recurring dreams about Harrison Ford. We’re dating and yet not physical. I have no idea what’s going on here, but we seem to be serious about each other. It’s weird.
• Rude drivers in the burbs–what’s up with that?
• Being swamped means not knowing what’s going on in the world like Scott McClellan resigned and we’re gonna blow up Iran and other such stuff.
• I’m unbelievable glad it’s Friday, but I’m planning write this weekend. So no freedom yet.
• Keynote is done! Now I just need to be able to present it well.