I’ve been reading Perfect Madness (almost done, real review coming!) and I just finished the chapter on husbands and then I saw Rebel Dad’s link to Leslie Morgan Steiner’s post. Steiner’s blog is really driving me crazy. But that’s another story. In Perfect Madness, Warner goes on and on about how the husbands pretty much check out of their family’s lives and don’t take on any of the housework or childcare and are basically incompetent. As I was reading that, I remembered that she was dealing with a pretty small subgroup of people and as rebel dad says, they’re not all like that.
I’m going to speak from personal experience since that’s all I’ve got and anecdotal evidence seems to be all the rage anyway. Basically, I married the only guy I know who doesn’t cook. Seriously, all my friends’ husbands, gourmet cooks. To make up for that, Mr. Geeky cleans the kitchen. He also does laundry and grocery shopping. He often asks if I need him to pick up anything at the store. Now he hates grocery shopping because the placement of products is a mystery he’s never figured out, but he manages. Most of the husbands I know, including Mr. Geeky, are very involved in their kids’ lives. They go to parent-teacher conferences. They go to soccer games. They take their kids to lunch at the pizza joint. You see them at parks and playgrounds together or just hanging out in the back yard.
That doesn’t mean I don’t know a few husbands who seem to be completely uninvolved, but really, it’s rare. I feel Rebel Dad’s frustration. Stereotypes are bad for everyone.