Geeky Mom

After the chaos of the last week of May and first two weeks of June, complete with two visits by relatives, two birthdays and two week-long workshops, I’m attempting to reclaim the house from the crap under which it is buried. In this process, I am also trying to organize my time better. Ideally, I would like to be better prepared for everything. I always feel like I’m doing things at the last minute or I’m late and apologizing profusely to people. I don’t like this. I’ve been organized about my time most of my life. I was one of those students who started papers really early. Both at home and at work, the consequences of my not realizing deadlines until the last minute have meant that I have had to rush around and complete some (or more likely, several tasks) myself. If I had planned better, I could have delegated. An example, for my summer multimedia program, I have to make sure that the training classroom computers have the appropriate software. If I had planned properly, I could have asked User Services to take of that. Instead, me and two students were in the room the Friday before the training began installing all kinds of software.

My ideal time/project/list organizer would be web-based since I’m almost always online, but not always on the same computer. I generally like the 43 folders way of doing things and would like to adapt that to an online environment. Suggestions are welcome, but I’ll be trying out a few things on my own and I’ll let you know what I think of them.

It’s not that I want to be some kind of organization freak (that will never happen given my personality), but I would like to be organized enough that I’m not stressing over everyday occurrences. Keep watching this space.

Thanks to timna, for pointing out this article in the The Chronicle about the problem of academically-oriented (Ph.D.’s or I’d say, near Ph.D’s as well) people taking non-academic jobs in academe.

It’s interesting because I feel like if I did produce research, it would be valued, maybe not in quite the same way, but people would find it useful. I feel like I am encouraged to do research, but I often can’t find the time during the say. Research, as you all know, requires extended periods of quiet time reading, writing and thinking. In order for me to do research, I would need to leave my office and go over to the library. Or I’d have to do it outside of work hours. In the first scenario, I would feel guilty if I did this too often because I’m supposed to be available to assist people who phone, e-mail or stop by. I think people would find it frustrating if I became really difficult to reach.

Today is a good example of how problematic this is. I got in this morning and began making final preparations for a video chat that was originally scheduled for 10:30, but got moved to 11:30. I had to set up the equipment, clear one meeting out so we’d have some setup time. I began this process at 9:30. When I finished around 11:00, I had someone waiting for me to help with video editing and I need to help the same person with something else at 2:00 after I’ve finally had a chance to eat. (I’m sitting in the video chat writing this). So it will be 3:00 before I’m free. There will be tasks waiting for me I’m sure. This is a typical day.

Outside work hours is difficult as well since I have other things to do then like my own writing unrelated to work, having a life, dealing with kids.

The problem I see is that a job like mine would be more effective if I made the time or was more encouraged to take the time to do research. Keeping up with what’s going on in my field would benefit the institution as a whole. Plus, my research often leads me into other fields, giving me a common language with some of my faculty colleagues.

I haven’t yet had the experience of faculty dismissing my knowledge as the writer of the article has had. Instead I often have the experience of the faculty thinking that because I’m staff and don’t sign my e-mail with M.A. or Ph.D. that I don’t have any knowledge to begin with. Or that I only possess specific technical knowledge. Sometimes they don’t get that I am well-read, both in my field and just generally.

My recent satisfaction with my job comes in part from faculty recognizing me as an intellectual instead of “just a techie.” It’s often as simple as asking me “What do you think?” or responding to a suggestion I have with interest, indicating in some way they’re taking me seriously. I have recently experienced this in spades and it is such a nice experience. I will likely never finish my Ph.D. and because of time constraints in my job and family life, I will likely never have an extensive research agenda. But I do think broadly and deeply about lots of things. All I ask is that people acknowledge that.

Back on schedule? Ha! I got up at 6:45, but I had intended to get up at 6:15 and work out. Then I was going to write or read for a while.

I did not sleep well. Worried about issues at work. Worried about getting the kids off to camp safe and sound. There’s trash to take to the street, lunches to make. Not to mention the sheer chaos that will ensue when I wake up the kids in 4 minutes. Like herding cats.

There’s always tomorrow, right? Maybe this will work tomorrow. Today, I’m going to find the perfect calendar thingy if it kills me. Must. get. organized.

I’m back from my trip to Virginia. The visit included a huge party, complete with lots of booze, a bonfire, bagpipes, and camping. Interestingly, I didn’t drink this year (usually this is like New Year’s Eve for me), but I still *feel* like I got drunk last night. So I have the pain without having had to drunken extravaganza. I’m glad, though, because a good night’s sleep will see me fully recovered and back on schedule.

A la Scrivener:

Dad–Beth Waters
Father And Son–Cat Stevens
Father Lucifer–Tori Amos
Papa Come Quick (Jody And Chico)–Bonnie Raitt
Papa Don’t Preach–Madonna
Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone–The Temptations

It’s official–I need more music. I do have a Mamas and Papas album. Does that count?

I don’t do this often–most of the time I don’t have time–but here I am at work, blogging away. I have 50 minutes left before I leave. I’m leaving early for a trip to Virginia to visit friends. I feel only slightly guilty.

When I return, I hope to be refreshed and ready to get down to some good work, including re-adding writing and exercise to my routine. I’m planning to shift to the morning hours for that. The evening is not working out. Basically, I’m collapsing in a heap at the end of the day.

Here’s a weird tidbit about work blogging. I used to have a work blog, but we decided to switch blog software and that’s been down for a month now. I find myself at sea as a result. Normally, when I find myself a little bored or without a particular project to work on, I’ll write a work-related blog post, but I can’t do that. It’s weird but I find blogging on work-related topics useful in thinking about issues related to my job and in getting information out to my constituents. And if anything, this is the main job responsibility I have, to think about/work on technology and education issues, but ironically, I feel guilty blogging when that is the best way I’ve found to work on that particular responsibility. And now here I am thinking all that through–out loud as it were. Hard to believe I get paid for this. And hard to believe I feel guilty for that.

Before the new Star Wars movie came out, Mr. Geeky went out and bought the rest of them on DVD and had Star Wars fest with the kids. They watched a movie a night for about a week. Then he took the kids to see the new one. A couple of weeks later, Geeky Girl started watching them on her own. And a couple of days ago, the kids decided to start making “Star Wars, Jr.” They’re storyboarding and scripting the whole thing. They’ve already shot a couple of scenes.

Our house definitely feels a little weird. Geeky Girl has added “May the Force be with you” after “Good night, sweet dreams, I love you.” And last night, she told Mr. Geeky that she was going to bed as Leah, but waking up as Obi Wan (or something).

The kids have also been playing Geeky Boy’s new Star Wars Battle game for playstation and he’s keeping accurate statistics on the number of people they’ve killed and who has won and lost each battle. He made up a little table that’s now 3 pages long.

Help me, Obi-Wan, you’re my only hope!

It sucks that you have to stay until 5. Around 3:30, I ran out of work. Not that there wasn’t anything to do, but nothing sort of concrete and manageable within the 1.5 hours I had left presented itself. And I was tired. If I were a lawyer or consultant or something, I might have put the 1.5 hours in and billed it to whichever client’s project (or case) I was working on. Or if I were a professor, I might have gone and worked out and put in another couple of hours after dinner. But a salaried job doesn’t work that way. There’s very little external motivation to work in terms of direct compensation for the hours you work. And a lot of internal motivation comes from a) enjoying what you do, b) being told you have to do something or c) the culture of the clock. If you don’t enjoy your job, then b) and c) are the only motivations and those don’t seem like good motivations to me.

On a day when 3:30 rolls around and I’m unmotivated, but don’t have the guts to just say, “I’m done for today” I do things like surf the internet, read blogs, etc. Or, as I did today, I had a conversation with a colleague about something related to work, but which wasn’t very productive. I’m think it would be better for everyone if I just left. Then I’d come back the next day refreshed and more productive. And believe me, the actual 1.5 hours of work will be made up sometime. I routinely work over my scheduled hours.

They aren’t happening. Laundry is piling up. There’s no food in the fridge. Life is getting messy.

I wish I had more time. I’m ignoring all that stuff to spend time doing other stuff. I did get a lot of paperwork done Monday, but last night I decided to socialize when I had planned to get the big page number over on the right down by about 4. And it won’t happen tonight because I meet with my writer’s group.

I’m having the not-so-pleasant experience of thinking about things I need to do at work while I’m home and things I need to do at home while I’m at work. I’d love to just clone myself.

That list from yesterday, not much done on it yet. But these are week-long goals. I’m hoping to have my professional blog up and running today. Not that I can’t post work stuff here, but I have ways of getting my information out to the people from that blog. And I think most of my faculty are not interested in my shoe blogging. They’re welcome to indulge themselves, but . . .

So I’m processing lots of information from the workshop and have lots to do as a result, stuff that I’m excited about. I’m actually doing some work at home, I’m so excited about it (thus the manic feeling).

A colleague of mine and I have this conversation all the time. We both work at home fairly often, not because there are things that have to be done, but because we get interested and excited about something and so we work on it and then come back and tell each other about the cool new thing we figured out how to do. Many of our other colleagues are not like this; they refuse to take work home. Their job represents a paycheck and no more. There are certainly times when I feel that way. When I’m frustrated, I don’t want to think about work or give them any more time than I’m paid for. But I consider my job a career, a vocation even. I kind of turned my hobby into paying work, so it makes sense that I feel this way. I also recognize that doing things outside of work doesn’t just benefit my place of employment, but also benefits me. I learn new skills or work on materials (web sites, articles) that might get me noticed.

I really wouldn’t want it any other way. I choose to bring my work home with me; it doesn’t feel forced and I think that enthusiasm shows when I’m at work (most of the time). I really wouldn’t want a job that was just a job. I hope this continues.