Geeky Mom

This coming fall, my husband and I are teaching a course together. We’re actually teaching two sections of the same course, but we’ll be using the same readings and syllabus. We’ve been thinking about this course for a while, but just now feel we’re at a place where we can teach it. I originally wanted to do something on Rhetoric and Technology without my husband, but we settled on teaching a class on blogs and blogging that we’re calling “Web of Influence.” We’ve had many conversations about it, which have been exciting, and we have a wiki where we’re keeping track of things we want to use for the class.

Last night, we had our first argument. Over blog software. He cares about functionality (so do I); I care about its aesthetics. I have been working–as I mentioned in my last post–on tweaking an existing piece of software. It’s not perfect, but it has potential. It is flexible, and comparatively speaking, much easier to manipulate. My husband says it looks amateurish and besides, it doesn’t *do* what he wants it to do. I said I wanted the ability to change the look of individual blogs easily, to allow the students to do some simple “decorating” if they want. And that’s when I find out he doesn’t want individual blogs, but a group blog, a la Crooked Timber. Fine, I say, but I still think it should be easy to add links, change the colors, add pictures. Nah, he says, all I care about is does it do x, y, and z.

Let me just say that I don’t claim to be an expert on blogs, blogging, blog software, etc. But I read about 120 blogs a day. I post in two blogs almost daily and a third about every other week. I can tweak CSS and html to my heart’s content. Mr. Geeky, well, he reads Slashdot and Groklaw and occasionally, Crooked Timber and Tim Burke (who we both know personally). But that’s it. He doesn’t have his own blog. So I feel like I have a little more experience than he does and a better understanding of the blog gestalt than he does (at least within the group of blogs I read regularly).

But this whole discussion goes deeper than the functionality vs. the aesthetics of blogs. We’ve been having this discussion for 15 years. No one has come out a winner. The discussion is a pitting of art/form/aesthetics vs. science/function/practicality. When we met, I was a poet; he was a computer scientist (still is). I cared deeply about art and aesthetics. The way things looked, felt, smelled, sounded, and even tasted was important. I noticed them. He was interested in code–beautiful, simple, elegant, but primarily functional. At first, we merely co-opted parts of each other’s world views to suit our own purposes. I began writing poems about mathematical equations, space, and chaos theory. Mr. Geeky came to poetry readings and art films.

Later, though, the division became a matter of finances. I was paid less than he was. Science was valued more than literature at least according to graduate assistant pay. Once Mr. Geeky achieved Assistant Professor status, there were even more financial issues. Positions were eliminated in the humanities and increased in the sciences. More money was available for travel in the sciences than in the humanities.

I also approached the topic from the beginnings of scientific inquiry with Locke and Bacon and Hume, Galileo, Kepler and others through a Renaissance Rhetoric seminar. We ended up spending a great deal of time discussing the shift from a more artful, metaphoric way of writing to a more practical, logical way of presenting an argument. Of course, logic had been a key part before “science” gained ground as a real discipline, but the value of certain rhetorical devices, ones that elicited emotions, for example, began to fade. I brought the class discussions home. There was agreement on the shift and even agreement that sometimes scientific writing and rhetoric are “too” logical and unappealing to the general public, but still no real meeting of the minds.

In our technology purchases and use is perhaps where the division is greatest. I am not opposed to function. I like things that work well, but I want them to look nice too. After spending years staring at a black box while writing, it is delightful to have my sleek iMac, white and gleaming facing me instead. Mr. Geeky–still looking at the black box. Though I am no designer, I like to play with the look of the web sites I maintain. I think about where to place information, what color the fonts should be and how big in order for the site be aesthetically pleasing enough to keep people coming back. Of course it must be functional or people will be frustrated, but if it’s not pleasing to look at, you won’t entice them to dive deeper, to explore. It’s one of my biggest complaints about a great deal of open source software. Yes, much of it is functional. There is elegant code behind it, but it’s ugly. The buttons look like the ones we saw in 1994. The color schemes tend to be blue, gray and black. There is no thought about the design. Mr. Geeky–only open source.

I like a nice marriage of form and function. It’s why I like my iMac so much. It works really well and it looks really nice. I think if we’re going to be immersed in a technological world, it had better look damn good. Hopefully my real marriage can survive our art and science divide. But if the past is any indication, I think we’ll be agreeing to disagree.

I’m going to be lame, but since I promised resources, I’m going to point interested parties to my other blog. Please don’t make fun of the design. We’re working on it. We’re customizing a rather ancient, open-source blog software. It’s coming along, but with the start of classes, we haven’t had much time to work on it. We had to meet a lot of requirements and there just isn’t a perfect software out there–as we quickly learned. My link will also expose me to the world, but of course, that’s not why I’m anonymous here; it’s the google factor. I’ll have another post about some more interesting information tomorrow, especially for those of you who create online components (in Blackboard or WebCt, etc).

I have spent my evening hours working on what looks like 3 years’ worth of laundry and catching up on the blog reading–boy you people write a lot. I had to do some skimming, but it was good to catch up.

Some things I noted and may or may not write about myself:

-The whole Lawrence Summers fiasco

-Michelle is anxious about her teaching

-lots of people are writing or revising articles and book chapters

-the poetry meme–which looks really fun

Funny how the mind works–sorry for the lack of linking–too tired–must sleep.

I haven’t written because I drove 4 hours to attend a friends 40th birthday party. At said party, I drank too much, stayed up too late, got up too early, and I’m still paying for it. Everyone else here has the day off, so they can sleep in and generally recover. Me, I have to work. It’s the first day of classes, so it will be busy. I don’t know why I do this to myself. I think I’m going to have to add something to my resolution list–moderation in all things, especially drink. Yesterday was quite painful. I have to remind myself that I’m not 20 anymore.

While I was indulging, however, we had a contest where we all had to read a Bush quote. I won the contest, hands down. The next morning, people were still talking about it. So at least that’s something, right?

I have a lot of cool ideas and resources that I want to share with everyone. But first I wanted to post about the fun things. Although I was the only person from my home institution at the conference, three people from one our consortial schools were there so I hung out with them for meals. We were in Baltimore, so there was plenty of crab and seafood to be had. I at crab at two meals and one of those meals was a seafood buffet, so I had crab in multiple ways at that place.

Last night we at at Pazo, an absolutely fabulous Mediterranean style restaurant. They serve “small plates.” You order 3 or 4 per person and everyone shares. I had some of the best raw tuna. Really everything was good. And there was good wine and dessert and coffee. The whole experience was really cool. The best part for me was the small portions. I am a tiny person and I prefer to eat in little portions throughout the day. I also get bored with a meal pretty quickly, so if there’s a lot of one thing, sometimes I just quit eating because I’m bored. So this was perfect. I was able to eat small amounts and never got bored because something new was always showing up at the table. I highly recommend it if you’re in the Baltimore area.

Schmoozing wasn’t fabulous, but nice. These conferences are a little different from academic ones because people tend to come in groups of 2 or more, so everyone has someone to talk to at the breaks, whereas I’m standing around alone. The institution name was really small on the badges, so I couldn’t walk up to someone and say, “Hey, I see you’re at _____, I’m at _______, right down the road” or “Hey, I see you’re at a tiny college. Me too.” I did however manage to talk to some people who had implemented something that we’re implementing this semester and some people who do exactly what I do–nearly the same job responsibilities–which is very unusual. The discussion about virtual communities was probably my favorite session and I wish there were more like that. Basically the presenter threw out some ideas and we all just talked about them and he kind of moderated the discussion. Sort of like being in a discussion-based class instead of a lecture.

Tomorrow morning, when I’ve gotten some sleep, I’ll post some about the resources and ideas.

A pretty good day all told. I spent the last part of the day talking about virtual communities–creating them and sustaining them. It was a discussion session and I tried to make an argument that you can’t really force virtual communities, that the best ones simply emerge. I used the blog community–loose though it may be–as an example. These form much the way friendships form. You meet someone and eventually meet their friends and they meet yours–much the same way linking/blogrolling happens. I’ve also been part of communities that have stricter boundaries; they take place in a particular virtual space, sometimes around a particular topic or interest. I was involved in an IRC like that. Anyway, I know there are people writing books on the topic, but it’s funny how invested in the topic I feel I am simply because I’m an active participant in several virtual communities. It was nice to be face-to-face with some like-minded folks.

After a night out with some colleagues who are also attending, I am now in bed, blogging and watching tv at the same time. Do I know how to have fun or what? I’m really thinking a laptop with wireless is in my future so I can do this at home.

So here I am on my way to Baltimore. I tried to find a wireless connection and there are about 10 in range, but who knows what or who they are. I know there’s wireless at the conference so I’ll have to wait until then to connect. I forgot all my books, so I purchased Wired and MobilePC to entertain myself on the trip. The bad thing about traveling alone is I now have to go to the bathroom and I’d have to haul all my stuff with me just to do so, so I’m going to wait. Why I didn’t go when I was sitting around 30th street I just don’t know.

It’s really foggy outside, so I can’t see anything of the landscape, though I have to say most of it looks like something out of a bad movie. Lots of factorys, refineries, water treatment plants interspersed with some clumps of leafless trees shrouded in fog. There’s also a river on one side–not sure which one–probably the Delaware.

I really wish I could get online, mostly because I’d like to read the news, catch up on some things. I’ve kind of ignored the news lately. Mr. Geeky and I quit watching network news. It just frustrated us because we always sensed the stories were skewed. I read bits and pieces online, mostly following stories I’m particularly interested in. I’ve been following Social Security reform, for example. I need to write my senators.

I got invited to a local democratic party get-together this weekend. Unfortunately, I’m going to be in Virginia. I’m so bummed. We’ll be planning for the 2006 senatorial race. Rick Santorum is up for re-election and of course, we want to get him out. I’ve written him 5 or 6 letters since the election. I also have Arlen Specter to contend with it. I don’t know how a blue state can end up with such red Senators. I also have a Republican congressman, Curt Weldon. My state representatives are all democrats, partly because the people who tend to run against them are sooo right wing, even the conservatives don’t vote for them. Most of the republicans in my immediate area are interested in policies that protect their wealth; they tend to be liberal on social issues. It’s an odd mix of politics. I really feel like I should be even more involved in local politics, but I’m not sure where I’d find the time. I have so many other things going on, by choice mostly, that I don’t have much room left. And I haven’t been in the area long, so I feel a little like an outsider. I’m sure there will be more gatherings and I’ll try to attend those and see where that takes me.

The conference I’m attending is a regional conference on education and technology. I’m not thrilled by the paper titles so far, but maybe there will be good schmoozing. I’ll report back.

I took this twice actually. The first time I got a 68. I only changed my answer to two questions and that put me at a 78. If I were still on my old Linux machine, I’d probably be higher. How pathetic is it that I *want* to be nerdy? Anyway, I can live with mid-level nerdiness. I communicate well with the non-nerds of the world. Most of my job is spent translating back and forth. If I were any nerdier, I probably couldn’t do that anymore.

I had an interesting discussion with my office mates this morning about women in the IT field. We were considering a web conference and we passed around a flyer with bios on the two presenters. I said, oh look white guys. Everyone was a little shocked and I said that i’d simply noticed lately that I didn’t see a lot of women in the it field. In addition, my social interactions with other women tend to be primarily about children, which is fine, but frankly I’d rather talk about other things. Plus, if I bring up that I have a blog or talk about my ipod, they look at me like I have two heads. In other words, I feel a little ostracised in my field because i’m a woman and a little ostracised among my peer group because i’m interested in technology. Is this a problem for anyone but me? I certainly don’t have a problem with the two men I work with. I consider them to be good friends and colleagues and I don’t think about them in a gendered way at all. Is it wrong for me to want some diversity? Shouldn’t I be worried that there aren’t more women in the IT field? Is it okay for me to point out that when I go to a conference, there aren’t many women? Am I just like the men who say where are the women bloggers? They’re there, but I’m just not looking in the right places?

Maybe I am being sexist in thinking that there should be more women in the field. My colleagues implied (though didn’t say outright so I may be putting words in their mouths) that women don’t choose technology fields. I happen to believe that our ideas about gender are socially constructed in ways that are so subtle and ingrained that we think we’re not being sexist when we are. So where my colleagues see a choice, I see an entire system working against women making that choice, from girls being discouraged in math classes to the lack of video games aimed at girls to the way girls are directed toward more “feminine” things–humanities, the arts, etc. Is this a dated view of things? I just don’t get this feeling that suddenly, things are looking great for women. Isn’t there still a wage gap? Don’t professions considered typically “female” see lower wages?

I felt bad for making my snide comment about white men, and it’s not that all white men are a problem or that an overabundance of white men in a field is necessarily a problem. Is it so wrong of me to want my workplace and my field to reflect the world?

Aside from all of that, I do think that I’m an odd duck. I’m a 36-year-old female technophile. There just aren’t that many people my age who really, really like technology. I have more in common with the students in that regard than with women my own age. I think it’s possible that the technology gap will narrow in the future, but I’m also worried that if it doesn’t, women will get left out of more than just the technology fields. They might get left out of political movements, other kinds of job opportunities, government programs, a generally fulfilling life. And that, I don’t think, is being sexist. Cynical maybe, but not sexist.